The Harpsichord

The harpsichord is to orchestra what eye brows are to humans. We don't need eye brows to live, and they don't really have any important function or purpose, but without them we would look funny, only with the harpsichord it's sound! With its sleek, curvaceous figure, the harpsichord is not lacking in sex appeal, but what draws people to harpsichord over and over again is it's music. Oh that music! How to describe it? How can you describe the sonic wonders of the harpsichord in mere, inadequate words? None other than Brian Garland, the bass player for international super group Nickelback, described the harpsichord's sound as "pleasant". So let's go with pleasant. The 15 million people who bought Nickelback's last album can't be wrong can they?

In our current enlightened times, we take the Harpsichord for granted. This is truly a shame, because it was the product of a brutal life long struggle of one incredibly special man. His name was Manuel Lopez. Born in the small Spanish town of Ricenbeans in 1624, Manuel was blind, deaf, retarded, diabetic, and quadriplegic. His life would not be an easy one, but he had an incredible will to live and to create an instrument unlike any seen before, except for the harp. Manuel had to spend long days working in the field to help support his poor family, but any free time he had he spent working in his corner on what he called a "braaahbrraagh!" It would take his entire life, but finally in 1679 he finished what would later be called by non-retarded people the harpsichord. As time passed, word of this "pleasant" instrument spread, and its popularity grew.

Today, while we wouldn't call the harpsichord ubiquitous, there are several harpsichords out there. A favorite of middle school orchestra teachers, they have found a prominent place in Mrs. Craig's Orchestra class at Tillman Middle School in Flint, Michigan, as well as at Mr. Leonards's Orchestra at Hudson's School for the Criminally Insane, also in Flint, Michigan. The harpsichord also has been a fixture in film scores, often used to convey the complex emotion of the specific embarrassment that results from loud, explosive defecation. Very recently the Harpsichord has made the jump into the gaming world, getting swept up in the Guitar Hero craze, with the spin off You're a Harpsichord Star. It looks like the future of the Harpsichord is indeed bright.